Building a Business Together, Building Intimacy: Relationship Lessons from Entrepreneurship

 

When I announced my four-month sabbatical, I wasn’t expecting to spend a large part of it researching Airstreams, comparing insurance policies, and debating cocktail menus with my partner.   Yet that’s exactly where life has taken us. I’m learning how building a business together is the same as building intimacy.

As Daren and I explore launching a mobile bar business together, I’ve been surprised by how many lessons about intimacy are showing up along the way.

Because it turns out that building a business together requires many of the same skills that create thriving relationships.

In fact, many of the challenges couples bring into my retreat room show up when two people try to create something together.

When Building a Business TogetherYou Discover How Differently You See Risk

One of the first things we’ve learned is that every person has a different relationship with uncertainty.

One partner may be ready to jump. (I bet you know who that is….😉)

The other may want more information before taking the next step.

Neither approach is wrong.

But when couples don’t understand each other’s relationship to risk, it’s easy to start telling stories.

“You’re too cautious.”

“You’re impulsive.”

“You don’t believe in me.”

The truth is often much simpler. You’re just looking at the same situation through different nervous systems.

Intimacy begins when we get curious about those differences instead of judging them.

Communication Matters More Than Being Right

When you’re making dozens of decisions together, there are endless opportunities for disagreement.

Pricing.

Marketing.

Insurance.

Business structure.

Equipment.

And that’s before you’ve even launched.

I’ve spent years teaching couples that healthy relationships aren’t built on agreement.

They’re built on repair.

The same principle applies here.

The goal isn’t to win. (I’ve been saying that to myself 10 times a day..)

The goal is to stay connected while navigating differences.

Every Partnership Has Different Strengths

One of the gifts of this experience has been watching how naturally Daren and I bring different skills to the table.

He’s strong in areas where I’m not.

(He’s great chatting people up..especially the good ole boys in the South)

I bring strengths he doesn’t have.

(I prefer excel spreadsheets over pen and pencil)

For many couples, differences become sources of frustration.

But differences can also become sources of strength.

When we stop expecting our partners to be versions of ourselves, we create space to appreciate what they uniquely contribute.

Shared Dreams Create Connection

One of the things I see most often in long-term relationships is that couples become excellent at managing life together but stop creating together.

The relationship becomes about logistics.

Schedules.

Bills.

Responsibilities.

Children.

Work.

What gets lost is the energy that comes from dreaming together.

Whether this business ultimately becomes a huge success or simply an interesting chapter in our lives, it has already given us something valuable: a shared vision.

Something to imagine together.

Something to build together.

Something to be excited about together.

Intimacy Isn’t Just About the Bedroom

When people hear the word intimacy, they often think about sex.

But intimacy is much broader than that.

It’s vulnerability.

Trust.

Communication.

Collaboration.

The willingness to navigate uncertainty side by side.

As Daren and I continue exploring this next chapter, I’m reminded that intimacy isn’t something we achieve once and then keep forever.

It’s something we actively create through the way we show up for one another every day.

Sometimes that happens during a heart-to-heart conversation.

And sometimes it happens while comparing insurance policies for a vintage Airstream.

Life is funny that way.