The Fight That Changed Everything at Our Costa Rica Couples Retreat
At my last Costa Rica couples retreat, something happened that I haven’t forgotten.
One of the couples had a huge fight.
Not a little disagreement. The kind of fight where everything that has been simmering beneath the surface suddenly comes pouring out.
At one point, they were seriously considering leaving the retreat.
And honestly, this is part of why I believe so deeply in this work.
Because relationships aren’t transformed by pretending everything is wonderful.
They’re transformed when we’re willing to stay present when things get hard—and when we have the right support to help us understand what’s actually happening underneath the conflict.
I spent some individual time working with each of them.
And for him in particular, something began to shift.
He started to understand that what his partner was asking for wasn’t simply more communication or more attention.
She was asking for emotional connection.
She needed to feel him there with her—not fixing, explaining or defending, but allowing himself to be vulnerable enough for her to actually feel him.
That was a very different way of understanding intimacy for him.
And something opened.
They came back together.
They also received something I couldn’t have given them by myself: the support of the other couples in the group.
There was no judgment. No taking sides.
Just other people who understood that relationships can be messy, that we all get stuck in patterns, and that sometimes having a safe place to work through them can change everything.
By the end of the retreat, this couple who had seriously considered leaving had experienced an extraordinary recovery.
This is why I do retreats.
Not because every couple is in crisis. Most aren’t.
But because when you step away from everyday life and give your relationship your full attention, things have the opportunity to shift in ways they simply can’t when you’re trying to squeeze connection in between work, kids, responsibilities and everything else.
And next February, we’re doing it again.
Our 2027 Passionate Intimacy Couples Retreat takes place February 25–March 2 at Imiloa in the Costa Rican rainforest.
And since I last wrote to you, two more couple has joined us.
That means we now have just 3 spots remaining.
Early enrollment starts at $3,799 per person through August 31.
After August 31, the price increases, assuming we have not sold out by then.
If you’ve been thinking about joining us, now is the time to explore whether this retreat might be right for the two of you.
